It’s been a long time since I really enjoyed pro wrestling. I was a diehard fan throughout my Hulk Hogan-obsessed youth and even more fanatical as a high schooler during the Attitude Era. But after a stint in my mid-twenties as a WWE writer – where I saw firsthand how the sausage was made – I walked away less interested and infinitely more jaded.
2015’s SXSW Music Festival came and went as it always does: in a chaotic and somewhat sweaty mess. Austin, Texas, plays home to what is growing year after year, becoming the epicenter for what’s new and now in the always-evolving music industry. Like a hipster scavenger hunt, I was lucky enough to run around town and catch sets from Run The Jewels, Diarrhea Planet, Unlocking The Truth, Twin Shadow, Brother Ali, Future Islands, Deer Boy, and an impressive new LA pop upstart named Frankie. I felt content with my itinerary, even braving the rain on the last night to catch Ghostface perform with the former jazz students of BADBADNOTGOOD, but I knew, deep down, I was unable to see the one artist that I so badly needed to learn more about.
Back in January, when Paramount Pictures announced the official greenlight for a Ghostbusters reboot with an all-female cast, it seemed to piss off a whole lot of idiot men. Some guys just couldn’t wrap their tiny, little brains around the idea that a movie they held dear with such childhood nostalgia could be changing (a.k.a. evolving) so drastically. When the brilliant casting choices of Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, and Leslie Jones were announced, you’d think someone told these meninists that someone was peeling the decal of Calvin pissing on a Prius logo right of their trucks. As if the Real Ghostbusters cartoon or Bobby Brown’s cameo in Ghostbusters 2 didn’t already tarnish the comedic genius of the original movie.
For my friends over at FunnyOrDie, I put together one of my favorite games, “Band Who’s Played Warped Tour or Twilight Zone Episode?” There’s literally no way you’ll get these all right. To play, click HERE.
I liked high school probably a little bit more than most people. I spent the first 3 years super awkward, mostly focused on dealing with an undiagnosed OCD, taking Accutane and playing sports, while my Senior year was, when pimples disappeared, I did the morning announcements and I lost some weight, a much better time. For someone who would later deal with a lot of depression, I have to admit, I got out of high school relatively unscathed.
As weird as it seems now when looking at me, I came up battle rapping in the late 90’s / early 00’s and was weirdly able to turn a radio contest, where I faced different MCs everyday, into a lucrative record deal at Interscope Records when I was 20 years old. When I was young …
If you’re late to the weird Internet exchange between myself and Tom Hanks’s son, Chester Hanks, who inexplicably is a rapper who goes by the name “Chet Haze,” then you can catch up here, here or here. And in the end, we’re exactly in the spot I feared, Chester has compeletly chickened out of a competition he suggested – and here’s how…
Every Thanksgiving I think of the same story that went down during my short stint as a writer on WWE’s weekly live wrestling show, RAW. During my 5-6 months creating ridiculous dialogue and storylines for pro wrestlers, I obviously found myself in some pretty crazy situations, most are folklore only told when I’m drunk around friends, but some can’t be held back no matter how hard I try. You see, every last Thursday of November, one moment from my time near the squared circle can not be forgotten, and that story involves the Native American warrior known as Tatanka.
I’ve been pretty passive over the past month in regards to the Occupy Wall Street movement. Not because I’m an asshole or part of the 1%, I’m neither, but because honestly, I’ve grown pretty used to the world being ruled by bankers, corporations, corrupt politicians and the select few who are terribly rich, and can …
My newest podcast focuses on 3 Cameo-using celebrities per episode, analyzing their sample messages, reviews, response time and then drawing on our own somewhat unimportant opinions, to tell you if we think it’s a good deal or not.
My memoir, published by Crown and chronicling the million dollar Interscope record deal I stumbled on in my early 20’s, is NOW AVAILABLE as a paperback (with a brand new chapter and material), eBook and audio book. You can order it now at the link below.
Des is a completely blind teenager who depends on his best friend Rudy for play-by-play commentary in order to follow the action at the live independent wresting shows they attend. An in the process, they’ve created a friendship where the dependence is actually mutual.